


To Have and To Hold

by thetroll



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kagome wants a baby, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-18
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:54:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22307506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thetroll/pseuds/thetroll
Summary: Kagome wants a baby; the desire is driving her mad. The trouble is... InuYasha has no desire for children and that leaves Kagome in an odd predicament. With their relationship fizzling out, Kagome is back to the drawing board to find someone to be the father... Until she learns that Sesshomaru himself is in the same predicament.
Relationships: Higurashi Kagome/Sesshoumaru
Comments: 36
Kudos: 635





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Since I've received some comments about my "InuYasha bashing," let me preface this by saying this isn't an InuYasha-positive fic. I do have some on my profile (When Peace Falls is a great example of this), but I'll be honest and say that I think overall InuYasha is a selfish and immature character and I think changing that when he grows some (but not a lot) in the series would make him OC.
> 
> That said, this is a fic where InuYasha is very much not the best of husbands, so if that's going to bother you, please do not read further. For the rest of my readers, enjoy!

"I want a baby," Kagome announced that morning, meaning every word. She wanted children of her own to have and cuddle, to raise and teach to be wonderful people able to go out in the world and make a difference. She wanted their unwavering love and to give them twice as much love in turn.

She would make a great mother; she just _knew_ she would.

"Keh, dunno why you're lookin' at me." InuYasha scoffed as he tucked his hands into his firerat sleeves. "I ain't gonna be the father, that's for sure."

Kagome gave him an annoyed look. Their relationship was already on the fritz because InuYasha hadn't been able to fully shake off his need to try and control how she lived her life. He meant well, she supposed, in his own way, but he was too used to being on his own and didn't understand her need to be needed. He often went off on his own or with Miroku but he never liked it when she did the same, even if it was for her own priestess responsibilities.

The desire for children, it seemed, might finally be what drove them apart.

"I told ya before that I don't want kids," he continued with a huff. 

She remembered the conversations they'd had before on the matter, but somehow throughout the years, she'd thought he'd change his mind. All of InuYasha's protests amounted to the fact that he didn't want to put a child through what he'd been through as a hanyo and since the child would have some yokai blood—though admittedly not much—he suspected that any child of his would be harassed simply for being, just as he had been.

She'd hoped—however foolishly—that time would soften his opinion on the matter, that he would come to see that he was loved and accepted in the village by all, just as any child of his would be.

Yet ten years had come and gone since she'd returned and no matter how she tried to approach the subject, InuYasha remained firm on his refusal. 

"InuYasha, can't we at least talk about it?" She wasn't sure that she could save their relationship even if they did, but she had to try. They'd been together ten years, and while he drove her crazy more often than not, she still loved him. It was a different love than she'd felt when she was a teenager, but it was love all the same, no matter how it had changed. 

"No." InuYasha didn't bother to move from his place at the stew bubbling above the fire. It was a bone stew, so it had already been cooking for a day, and he was clearly more than anxious to dive into it, even though they'd already had a simple breakfast of rice, fish, and vegetables.

But this time, Kagome wouldn't give up. She was almost thirty now. When she was in her teens and early twenties, it seemed no hardship to wait to have children; she hadn't even wanted them right at that moment, just at some point in her future. But now that she had celebrated her twenty-eighth birthday, the feeling had grown too strong for her to put off much longer.

She moved to sit down beside her husband. "I know you worry about how people would treat our kids, but look how loved you are, InuYasha. Everyone in this village respects and looks up to you." She reached out and begin massaging his tense shoulders. "No one would dare mistreat your child—as if we'd let them, anyway."

InuYasha stood up so quickly that she fell back in surprise. "I said no!" He made his way to the door, stomping with each step he took. "I told ya right when ya came back," he said over his shoulder, "that I don't want children and I never will. That ain't gonna change, K'gome. If that's what you want, then you don't want me."

And then he left before she could say another word.

Sesshomaru found himself wandering aimlessly, in search of something that he couldn't fully put into words. No matter where he journeyed or what he did, he found little comfort. Instead, there was this growing desire within him for _more_ that seemed to be unquenchable, though he did his best to assuage it. 

The only time he felt even a modicum of peace was when he visited Rin and even then, it did not last long.

_So what is it that I desire then?_

The feeling of dissatisfaction had begun shortly after the fall of Naraku. They had been quiet at first, more of a minor itch than anything, and easily pushed aside. But as the years had worn on, the desire had become stronger and stronger until he could no longer easily set it aside. Even now, he no longer felt the same peace with Rin and wondered if perhaps it was because Rin had moved forward with her own life, marrying Kohaku and settling down in the village he'd left her in.

Rin was no longer the young child who had followed him about Nippon and— _a child_. His eyes widened as he finally understood the desire welling within him. _So that is it, then. I desire a child of my own._

Now that he'd identified the desire, he felt a small measure of relief. He had considered children as part of his plans, but more in the sense of heirs than anything else. Now that he had come into his own power and set aside childish whims, it made sense that that vague desire for children would become stronger until he gave in to the urge to procreate.

The issue he faced now was with _whom_. If he openly solicited, he would have no shortage of potential prospects, but the very idea of sorting through so many females left him mentally exhausted. Doing so in person would drain him and the time he would waste could easily span _years_. The desire was already strong enough to distract him on a daily basis that he feared if he delayed further, he might simply give into one of the females in pursuit to quell it.

And that simply would not do. Whether he wedded the female or not, she would be the mother of his heir and worthy of his respect. He would not be easily rid of her if it turned out that she did not meet his expectations.

There were a few females still living that he'd encountered in his travels, but most he dismissed instantly. A few had already perished, but most would simply be too weak to fend off anyone who might attack their young if he was away. Only a fool would dare attack Sesshomaru's young, but it was still a risk that he couldn't entirely discount. A strong mother would help ensure that such a possibility never came to fruition.

Still, he was at a loss for viable options so he opted to visit Rin once more for a small, temporary reprieve. He could return his mind to the matter then, after he had taken a moment to rest.

Kagome sat inside Rin's house, cuddling Rin's firstborn while Rin rested, and tried to push back her own desire for children. 

Rin had recently given birth to a girl that appeared to have inherited Rin's bold nature. The baby seemed to be afraid of no one and nothing and was almost at odds with the gentleness of her name: Sakura.

Kagome had been completely unsurprised to find that Rin and Kohaku had named their daughter after a flower, given Rin's deep adoration of anything blooming.

"I hope she turns out to be like my older sister," Kohaku said in that low, quiet voice of his.

Kagome looked at him, surprised. Didn't men usually want the girls to grow up like their own wives? Sango was an amazing woman, of course, but so was Rin in her own way.

Kohaku must have understood her confusion—that or he'd expected it. "I love Rin," he said quickly, hands held out in a gesture that reminded her vaguely of Miroku—only Miroku often used it when he'd been accused, rightfully, of groping Sango. "I do. She's a strong woman and she's been through a lot. But Sango and I come from a family of yokai slayers and I hope to pass that heritage onto my own children and, well, Rin is the type of woman who needs to be protected rather than do the protecting."

Kagome thought back to when Rin had traveled with Sesshomaru. Rin had been kidnapped several times, requiring Sesshomaru to go and rescue her, but she'd also been a little girl. Unlike Sango, who'd had years of combat training by Rin's age, Rin had no experience in protecting or defending herself.

But at the same token, Rin was prone to daydreaming, even as an adult, and had little interest in combat or warfare. If anything, Rin was a pacifist, often not even recognizing conflict when it arose.

"I see your point," Kagome conceded. "but what if Sakura doesn't want to be a slayer?"

Kohaku blinked. "Why wouldn't she?" he asked, sounding as if he hadn't considered the matter. "Rin and I have already spoken about it and we agreed to raise our children as slayers. We can't rebuild the slayer village with just the two of us, but I can still share my heritage and teach my children."

 _Well, it's not any of my business_ , Kagome reminded herself, but she hoped that if Sakura chose a different path, Kohaku would be amendable to it. "I'm happy for you," she said instead. "Sakura is a lovely little girl."

Kohaku beamed with pride. "She has her mother's looks," he said, puffing out his chest, and Kagome's misgivings fell away. There was no doubt the love Kohaku had for his wife and daughter and whatever they faced, Kagome was confident that they would face it together as a family.

"Where's InuYasha?" he asked after a moment. "He was supposed to come with you to see Sakura."

Kagome hesitated. She hadn't told anyone what had happened, mostly because she was still trying to process it herself. She was still reeling from how InuYasha had simply walked out on her without so much as a backward glance. "He left to take care of something," she said, contenting herself with the knowledge that she wasn't lying. InuYasha _had_ left to do something—she just didn't know what.

Kagome was saved from explaining further when Sango entered the hut and shooed him out. "Go see Miroku," she told him the moment she saw the look on Kagome's face. "He wants to give you advice."

Kohaku looked between the two women, the same hint of awe he always had for Sango still visible, but he did as he was bade and left.

"She's such a cute baby, isn't she?" Kagome cooed at the dozing baby in her arms.

"She is." Sango sat down and folded her arms. "What happened with InuYasha?" The _this time_ was left unsaid but Kagome understood all the same.

Kagome glanced over at Rin, sleeping on her futon, and blurted, "He left."

"He _left_?" Sango repeated, her tone rising in anger. "What do you mean, he left?"

Kagome shrugged helplessly. "Exactly what I said. He just...walked out." She sighed heavily. "I didn't start the conversation right, like we practiced, but Sango, I really tried to talk to him about it. He just said that if I wanted kids, I didn't want him, and left. It was like the last ten years didn't mean anything to him at all."

Sango pressed her lips together. "Tell me everything."

So Kagome did, not leaving a word out. When she finished, Sango clicked her tongue. "Children have always been a women's prerogative," Sango said, showing the feudalistic era mindset. "A man is always supposed to want them, but it's the women who chooses to have them. That's why you've been taking the root Kaede showed you, right? What if... You just stop taking it?"

Sango looked as uncomfortable with the suggestion as Kagome felt. Not only would it be a betrayal of InuYasha's trust, but it was the sort of thing that women weren't supposed to talk about, in this era or any other.

But the plan wouldn't have worked anyway, for one very important reason. "We haven't...well, we haven't done _that_ in almost a year," she admitted quietly. "I've been so busy with my duties since Kaede passed and InuYasha often says he's too tired anyway. I didn't want to pressure him into it."

Kagome had enjoyed sex with InuYasha; it wasn't anything spectacular by any means, but it was pleasurable and she'd liked it. Over the past few years, however, InuYasha had slowly become less interested in it, focusing more on his pleasure than hers whenever they _had_ been intimate, and that had ultimately killed her own desire to sleep with her husband. She'd stopped initiating altogether and eventually, so had he.

In her era, they probably would have already divorced by now, but in the feudal era, women simply didn't divorce their own husbands. It wouldn't even have occurred to Sango to suggest such an idea in the first place.

Sango looked conflicted. After a moment, she whispered, "Have you tried using..." She trailed off but Kagome understood. There was a herb she often gave to couples who needed a boost to rekindle their desire, one that inflamed the senses and helped facilitate intimacy.

Kagome was horrified. It would have been one thing to use it if they'd had problems being intimate, but it was wrong to use it on InuYasha just because he didn't _want_ to sleep with her.

She shook her head. "He doesn't want children, Sango. If I conceived without his permission, he'd leave for good and I wouldn't blame him. I'd deserve every moment of his hatred." Short of leaving InuYasha—a concept she had a had time wrapping her mind around because of how long they'd been together—nothing would change. "I guess I'll just have to accept that I won't ever have children," she whispered, her heart aching as she cuddled Sakura even closer.

"I'm sorry, Kagome." Sango rubbed Kagome's back soothingly but both women fell silent, neither knowing what to say.

Both women were so caught up in the miserable atmosphere that neither noticed the yokai presence hovering out their door, nor did they notice when it left.

Late that afternoon, Kagome sat on the lip of the Bone Eater's well, trying to picture what the rest of her life would look like. 

"The hanyo will not give you a child," Sesshomaru's voice reverberated through the clearing as he stepped into view.

Kagome jolted, surprised that Sesshomaru had managed to sneak up on her. She'd honed her abilities well enough over the years that it was a rare day, if ever, that a yokai managed to do so. And then she blanched as his words registered.

"You heard?" she asked quietly and then some of her fire returned to her. "That was a private conversation, Sesshomaru!"

"And yet it was said where this one could easily overhear," he retorted unrepentantly. "Perhaps you should take greater care where you converse in the future if you do not wish to be overheard."

"I fail to see how it could have been any more private—we were in Rin's house!" she groused under her breath.

"Hnn." If he'd heard her, he didn't bother to comment further. "You desire a child, priestess."

"I want children," she affirmed. At this point her humiliation was complete so there was no reason to bother with pretense now. "But InuYasha doesn't want them."

 _He doesn't want me_ , a tiny voice whispered in her mind.

Sesshomaru raised a brow. "Then leave the hanyo."

She stared at him, stunned to hear those words from his lips. True, she technically _could_ leave InuYasha, but it wasn't that simple. If she moved in with one of her friends, not only would she be burdening them, but she'd still be in the same village. Nothing would really change because no one in the village would marry her, even if she'd wanted to remarry. They'd all still see her as InuYasha's wife, whether she lived with him or not, and likely would view her unkindly for leaving him. They might even see it as a mark against her purity and if that was the case, she'd lose the only thing she felt she contributed: her priestess prestige and ability to help others.

On the other hand, if she left, she might be able to pretend to be a widow and remarry—assuming InuYasha didn't come after her—but she didn't find the way most men treated women in this era attractive. That meant she would likely only be able to marry a yokai and few, if any, would choose a human for their wife, let alone a priestess. She could live with Shippo, perhaps, or Koga, but Shippo was still in school and Ayame might be uncomfortable to have the woman her husband once loved living with them.

She still loved InuYasha, but she'd be miserable if she stayed. But if she left, she just didn't see a better future available for her.

"And go where?" she finally asked, though she didn't expect an answer. "I'd still be married to InuYasha, even if I left."

"A female can petition her clan or pack's alpha to dissolve the mating if she can prove childlessness, unfaithfulness, or abuse," Sesshomaru said to her surprise. "This one has witnessed for himself two of the three and is willing to grant such a boon in return for one that will grant what you desire."

"But why?" she blurted, unable to believe that Sesshomaru was helping her out simply out of the goodness of his heart.

He ran an hand idly through his hair. "It will grant him a desire of his own."

Kagome was curious but she didn't completely trust Sesshomaru, either. He was honorable overall, but he also had a longstanding habit of doing things just to spite InuYasha and she wanted his reassurance that this was more than that. "What do you want in turn?"

"The same as you," he replied calmly. "This one desires offspring and a mother strong enough to protect them in the event of his absence."

"Offspring," she repeated stupidly. "You want children with me? But they'd be hanyo!"

"This one has seen hanyo with a strength greater than most yokai," Sesshomaru countered. "He also has the power to seal away their yokai blood as the fang of this one's father has done for the hanyo you wed."

Well, that was reassuring but it still didn't explain _why_.

"If you want a strong mate, I'm sure you could find a yokai one." Kagome stared at Sesshomaru, trying unsuccessfully to read his expression. 

He continued to to run his claws through his hair. "They were found unworthy."

"I don't know." She bit down on her lower lip, torn between her two opposing desires. One part of her urged her to find InuYasha and rekindle their relationship. The other part desired children strongly enough that she was ready to accept Sesshomaru's offer. After all, she'd seen him with Rin and had a decent understanding of how protective and kind he would be to his own children. She felt reasonably confident that he would be even more protective of them than he had been of Rin.

"Very well." Sesshomaru turned to leave. "Continue to give the hanyo your affections even as he fails to meet your needs. Perhaps you will persuade him to stop laying with another woman in the village—"

"What do you mean by that?" she demanded. There had never been any indication whatsoever that InuYasha had been unfaithful. Sure, they had their problems, but there was no evidence for an accusation like that. "InuYasha would _never_ do that!"

Sesshomaru turned to look at her over his shoulder. "If this one proves the hanyo's infidelity, will you accept his offer?"

The flat way he spoke incensed her. InuYasha had his own issues, but she didn't for once doubt his honor. "It doesn't matter because you won't prove that!"

Sesshomaru eyed her and then said. "Come, then."

She followed him into the village, confident that she'd prove him wrong. But when Sesshomaru stopped in front of a hut on the outskirts, she heard the telltale sounds of sex. Unsure, she couldn't bring herself to look in, but when Sesshomaru raised a challenging brow, she squared her shoulders and marched in front of it, sure that she was about to witness the invasion of someone else's privacy.

But the sight before her wasn't at all what she expected. Silvery hair over bare buttocks as they pounded into a woman beneath him could only belong to one person: her husband. And it only took a moment for her to recognize the woman, little more than a teenaged girl, and far closer in appearance to InuYasha's age since Kagome's features had matured since she'd returned. Kagome still _looked_ young, but she'd lost the childish look to her features. InuYasha, however, hadn't visibly aged in the last ten years.

She gasped, reeling back in shock, feeling like she'd caught two horny teenagers rather than her own cheating husband, but the woman spotted her and screeched. Both scrambled for their clothing and it was only when InuYasha turned to face her that it all set in and finally felt real.

InuYasha was cheating on her.

He saw her, eyes widened, and made his way out the door, but Kagome didn't want to hear a word he said. She turned to Sesshomaru without thinking. "Take me away from here," she half-pleaded, half-demanded.

His cloud formed beneath his feet and she hopped onto it. "You have lost your wife, InuYasha," Sesshomaru taunted, but Kagome barely heard him over the roaring blood in her ears. All she kept seeing over and over again was InuYasha's naked ass pumping away as he made love to someone else.

She didn't pay any attention to their destination and frankly, she didn't care. She just wanted to be as far away from InuYasha as possible.

Little did she know that that was exactly what she was going to get.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty, since I have continued to receive abuse from guests on my fics on FF, I've turned on approval for guest comments so I can delete them and move in. Listen, Imma be real. If you feel the need to bully an author as a random guest on the internet, you're not acting as a decent human being. You don't have to like my work or feel that my characters are 'IC' vs 'OOC'; that's fine. But move it all along, dear, because life is too short to waste it being mean—being mean won't bring you happiness.
> 
> Since Ao3 remains amazing, I'll keep anon reviews there, but I will turn it off if needed for my own mental wellbeing.
> 
> I write fanfiction because I enjoy it and because it helps motivate myself to keep writing my own books. The reviews/comments I get help bolster that confidence. If this stops being a safe space to write, I'll stop posting, and focus only on my original work. I'd hate to do it because I genuinely enjoy fanfiction, but I will if I must.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the rant. The majority of my readers are all amazing people and I adore the time you take to review, comment, send PMs, and give kudos. Even though I don't have the time to circle back to each of you, it means a lot.
> 
> On a positive note, this ran away with me so now they'll be a third chapter—yay! It was supposed to be a one-shot but it just keeps on running away with me, haha.

Kagome hadn't said a word as they flew, lost as she was in her own thoughts. 

She couldn't get the mental picture out of her mind of InuYasha cheating. Perhaps she should have seen the signs—they hadn't been intimate in some time, but she'd assumed that had to do more with her pushiness for children and their own problems, not that InuYasha was _cheating_ on her—but she'd never believed he would.

After what had happened with Kikyo, he'd been so good to her when she'd first returned and he'd promised that he'd never have anyone else but her.

She'd believed him.

He'd meant so much to her. She'd left everything behind in her future to come back to him.

And then he'd cheated on her anyway.

Yet whose fault was that? Hers for wanting more than he was willing to give? Had she pushed him away? Try as she might, her thoughts kept coming back full circle to the way the communication broke down between them. She had failed on her end as much as he. She'd thought she could change his mind about children, that he'd come to see her point of view. He'd expected that she'd change to see his.

_So is that it then? Were we just doomed from the start?_

She'd left in such a hurry that she hadn't thought anything through. She'd simply asked Sesshomaru to take her away and...he had. She didn't even know where they were going. She hadn't told any of her friends that she was leaving. They would worry and—

She blinked as she suddenly realized the cloud was beginning its descent, approaching what appeared to be a cave. The sun was beginning to set, but she had trouble believing that they were heading to a cave to make camp. Sesshomaru wasn't the type of being to tire after just a few hours and only a fool would risk attacking him in the first place. He didn't need to make camp or build a fire to be safe and warm.

_So why was he stopping?_

As they reached the cave, the cloud dispersed and Kagome felt solid ground beneath her feet once more.

She took a step forward and then turned so she could study Sesshomaru. "Ah," she began and then paused for a moment, uncertain how to ask the question without offending him. "Why did we stop?"

"You are fatigued," he said flatly. For all the intonation in his voice, he could have been discussing the weather.

Well, that made sense, at least. He had made no move to touch her when she'd stepped on his cloud to stand awkwardly behind him. She couldn't imagine him holding her if she dozed off so she wouldn't tumble off his cloud and plummet to her death.

"Right. Thank you," she said. She was fairly certain he'd done so more for himself than her, but she recalled that he'd also helped her find the strength to leave InuYasha.

She didn't get a reply, nor did she expect to.

It was chilly as she walked back into the cave, looking for a less rocky place to try and settle down. Without a fire, it was going to get even colder, but she couldn't see Sesshomaru fetching the supplies she'd need to make one. She would just have to make to with what she had.

She shivered as she finally chose a place and settled down, grabbing the lapels of her shirt to try and bring it in closer to cover as much skin as possible. She closed her eyes and tried to will herself to sleep, fulling expecting Sesshomaru to leave at first light.

But thoughts of InuYasha and all that had gone wrong between them kept racing through her mind.

"You are chilled."

She opened her eyes to see Sesshomaru had stepped closer. Part of her was grateful for the reprieve from her thoughts but the other part wasn't sure what to make of this suddenly observant and engaged Sesshomaru. "A little," she finally admitted, wondering if he would leave her be now that he'd had the answer he sought.

"Hnn." He stared at her for another moment, clearly considering something. Finally, he seemed to come to a conclusion and he moved to unfurl the white boa from around his torso. In seconds it was free and he handed it over to her with an odd look.

She immediately felt guilty and so she made no move to take it. She didn't know how chilled inuyokai could become but it seemed wrong to take it from him. She also didn't want to offend him when she was fairly certain he rarely—if ever—did anything to aid in the comfort of another. "Thank you, Sesshomaru, but you don't need to give up your source of warmth for me."

"It is expected to care for one's wife's needs."

"Wife?" she repeated in a low, quiet voice. She suddenly remembered the deal she'd made. Somehow, in all the chaos of the day, she'd managed to completely forget it. "But we haven't—I didn't—"

His eyes narrowed as he stared at her, continuing to hold out the boa for her to take. "You will uphold your vow."

She swallowed, not seeing any way out of it. "You don't love me and I don't love you," she protested, the first thing that came to her mind.

"Neither does the hanyo," Sesshomaru pointed out with fiendish accuracy. 

She felt his comment straight to her pained heart but she dared not acknowledge that comment aloud with her own response. "Even so," she said, swallowing back a lump, "marriage should be between people who love each other."

He raised a brow. "It is a luxury, not a necessity, for marriage. Many wed without it."

_Well, he's not wrong, especially in this era_ , she admitted to herself, but that didn't mean that she had to like hearing it.

"Maybe that works for some people, too," she conceded, "but marriage is hard enough without love and compatibility."

"This one will treat you well." His shoulders had squared and the look on his face dared her to say otherwise.

She looked down at the boa he still held out and conceded that point. He hadn't done anything to harm her and it seemed he was doing his best to consider her well-being, though she imagined that was a new thing for him. 

She also didn't see a way out of the situation, so finally Kagome took the boa. "Thank you," she told him quietly as she wrapped the boa around herself. 

It was far longer than it looked, easily wrapping completely around her upper body and her upper thighs. It was also warmer than she'd thought it would be, as though it was its own source of heat instead of being something merely to help keep the cold from touching her. 

The shivers that had been gently wracking her body ceased almost immediately. 

"Rest." Sesshomaru settled at the opposite wall but his gaze never left hers. "As soon as you have rested fully, this one shall once again continue his way home."

She wanted to ask where his home was but she had the feeling that he would not tolerate any additional delays. So, she closed her eyes and tried not to think of anything that had happened recently. Instead, she thought of her family back in the future, daydreaming what they must be doing now.

And eventually, she fell asleep.

When she awoke, she found Sesshomaru had already moved from his place on the opposite wall to stand by the mouth of the small cave. 

"Come," he said, his cloud already forming beneath him.

She rushed forward, not even taking a moment to unfurl the boa and hand it back to him. As she scrambled onto the cloud, her stomach let out a huge rumble of hunger. She flushed as Sesshomaru raised a brow but she didn't apologize for her body's natural reaction to hunger. She hadn't eaten since her fight with InuYasha—she'd first been too anxious and then, later when she'd caught him in the act, literally, she'd been too angry at both him and herself. InuYasha for cheating and herself for not noticing the signs sooner.

Eventually, her anger had faded into an odd sort of melancholy resignation but even then, she had been too focused on her emotions to remember to eat.

To her surprise, Sesshomaru pulled a small silk pouch and handed it to her. She opened it as his cloud lifted away from the floor of the cave and made its way to the sky. 

She opened the bag to find some kind of dried jerky inside. "Thank you," she told him, relieved that she wouldn't have to wait longer for something to eat. She took one of the strips out and popped in into her mouth.

The smokey flavor of the jerky was expected, but there was an odd, tangy sweet aftertaste that almost reminded her of barbecue sauce that saturated the meat. It was odd, but not off-putting, but she couldn't help but wonder what spices the meat had been cured with, let alone what meat it was. She couldn't tell, but it wasn't gamey or lean enough to be deer, nor did it seem fatty enough to be bovine. It could be chicken, she guessed, but cooked in such a way to be almost unrecognizable. 

Finally, she gave into temptation and spoke up. "This meat has a really interesting flavor."

This time, she was standing to the side and slightly behind Sesshomaru so she was able to see the small quirk of his lips. "It is yokai jerky."

She almost gagged on the piece she'd just swallowed and felt the bile rising up in her throat. 

She heard a quiet chuckle and glared at him, knowing that he was enjoying her distress.

"You could have warned me," she groused.

"You should not have assumed it was otherwise," he retorted. "This one is yokai, is he not? He offered you his own travel food; it was your fault for assuming it would be normal human traveling fare."

He was right, but that didn't mean she had to like it, either. 

"I haven't traveled with yokai before," she reminded him. "And I've never seen you eat, either. How was I supposed to know what you'd find palatable? Shippo and Koga both ate human food without any problems. How do I even know the jerky is okay for humans to eat?"

He eyed her with a brow raised as though he didn't appreciate the comparison. "The jerky will not harm you and should meet most of your nutritional requirements." He sniffed in disdain. "Many yokai can get most of their nutrition similarly from human food, but most do not eat it unless they choose to live amongst humans. Doing so comes with other ramifications."

"Right." She decided to let the subject drop before she annoyed him further. "How long until we reach your home?"

"It will be nightfall when this one arrives." He seemed a little more mellow at the change in subject, but she could still sense the tension within him. "This one's mother will likely still be awake to greet you." He sounded resigned at that.

She gaped. "You live with your mother?" Kagome hadn't even realized his mother was still alive. Somehow, with InuYasha's parents both being dead, she'd assumed the same was true for Sesshomaru.

He looked down at her, his expression flat. "As will you, wife. She will be a most excellent, if demanding, tutor in educating you properly as this one's wife."

Kagome missed his teasing smirk, annoyed as she was by the comment. She resolved not to say anything else until they arrived.

At nightfall, just as Sesshomaru had predicted, they arrived at a gorgeous palace in the sky, floating with what she could only guess to be either magic or his mother's own innate power.

His mother, in her true form, greeted them, and Kagome guessed that the only reason Sesshomaru didn't do the same was because he had her on his cloud.

She landed on the floor of her palace at the same moment as she took her humanoid form and Kagome gasped at how similar she looked to Sesshomaru. _I always thought he'd taken after his father, but now I'm not sure. He looks so much like his mother..._

"Mother," he greeted, landing next to her.

"My beloved son." She smiled a tiny smile that reminded Kagome all too well of her son. "This one is glad you have decided to visit. Or," she added slyly, "is it that you are finally ready to settle down? This one can summon a dozen eligible ladies at once if you but wish it, Sesshomaru."

"This one has already chosen." He nudged Kagome forward as his cloud dispersed. 

"Hello," Kagome said and then paused. Should she call his mother 'Lady Mother?' Or something else? She still wasn't sure she even _wanted_ the marriage but she had the feeling that the point was moot by now anyway. Sesshomaru was not likely to take no for an answer, especially not after he'd introduced his mother to her. "It's nice to meet you," she finally settled on. "I'm Higurashi Kagome."

His mother clicked her tongue. "A human priestess, Sesshomaru? You do take after your father in the most expected ways." She sighed heavily as she looked Kagome over. "This simply won't do at all."

Kagome blanched. On one hand, if his mother didn't accept them, she might just get out of the situation, but it stung her pride to be found lacking. She felt her ire rise, but she wasn't a teenager any longer and she wouldn't give in to the urge to give his mother a piece of her mind. That, she was sure, would only prove his mother's point. 

Instead, she decided to follow her mother's favorite piece of wisdom and 'shower her with kindness.' "What a compliment!" she said with a pleased smile. "Don't you agree, Sesshomaru? Your father was a powerful and honorable general, after all." She completely ignored the last part.

To her surprise, his mother's lips quirked in another tiny smile. "Sesshomaru has always aspired to greatness," his mother said levelly. "It is hard to imagine that he has found it within you. Your children, after all, would be hanyo."

"With fluffy little ears to boot," Kagome agreed, forcing herself not to show any hint of anger at his mother's words. "I've always wanted to have babies with fluffy ears. Can you just imagine how cute Sesshomaru's babies will be? All that beautiful silver hair..." She grinned. "He looks just like you, you know. I bet his children will take after your side, too."

Of course, she'd always planned on those fluffy-eared babies being InuYasha's...

Sesshomaru looked at her with an expression as surprised as his mother's.

"Hnn." His mother eyed Kagome for another long moment. "What an unusual creature you've found, Sesshomaru. Your mother looks forward to hearing more about your intentions over breakfast." She turned and began walking back to her throne on the other end of the grand hall. "The servants have prepared your rooms, but you already know where they are. There is no need to wake them to guide you."

With that, they were dismissed. Sesshomaru simply turned and began walking away, leaving Kagome to scramble after him. True to his mother's word, the rooms Sesshomaru led her to were already prepared, down to a futon for each of them.

She didn't speak a word of protest, suspecting that if she did, whatever she said would be repeated back to Sesshomaru's mother, and seeing as she would likely spend the rest of her life here, she needed his mother on her side if she was to live peacefully. She had no intentions of having a draconian mother-in-law to contend with. 

"Rest," Sesshomaru said quietly as she sat down on the futon, wondering if she would be given a change of clothes and a bath. "A bath will be provided in the morning when the servants have risen."

She didn't like lying on a clean futon while feeling grubby, but she could accept that and she wasn't selfish enough to demand servants be woken up just so she could feel clean when she went to bed. She nodded as she stretched out.

"You did well, Kagome." There was a hint of pride in his voice, though she couldn't make out his expression in the darkness of the room.

But his unexpected praise made her feel proud as well. It had been a long time since InuYasha had given her any praise, and it felt nice. It actually seemed more meaningful coming from Sesshomaru, as she suspected he didn't often offer praise for others.

"Thank you," she replied quietly, pulling her blanket over her. It was silk, but she wasn't surprised to find that. The entire palace seemed to ooze wealth and opulence and she wondered for a moment what it would have been like to grow up here as Sesshomaru had.

She pictured him as a small boy, but the mental picture she had was of a polite, quiet boy who didn't dare race about and break any of his parents' opulent possessions. Still, she had to admit he made a cute child, if only in her mind, and it was during that mental picture that she dozed off, unaware that Sesshomaru kept his gaze trained on hers the entire time.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning after Kagome arose and had her bath, she found Sesshomaru waiting for her in their shared room, an expectant look on his face.

"Mother has requested that you join her for your morning meal," he informed her, idly running a hand through his long silver hair. "She can be... Most determined. This one will accompany you to your meal."

Kagome wasn't surprised at his mother's plans but she was surprised that Sesshomaru was adamant in joining them for breakfast. She had the sneaking suspicion that his mother had been hoping to talk to Kagome alone.

"Okay, sure," she said easily, squaring her shoulders. His mother would find her no easier to push around than Kagome had been the day before. If his mother believed Kagome would be bullied into stepping aside from the marriage, she was about to learn differently. 

Kagome didn't back down from anything.

He inclined his head slightly and then turned to lead her out of the room and towards the dining room where they would have their breakfast. The room itself was opulent but Kagome hardly paid attention to the surroundings because all she could focus on was the giant carcass of a snake yokai lying sprawled over the table, looking as though it had been just killed. It hadn't even been cooked, though it had been arranged in a delicate floral pattern that Kagome supposed was supposed to look intricate and pretty, but it only made her stomach roll.

She wanted to leave the room as soon as she saw it, but she saw the challenging look on his mother's face and stood her ground. She would _not_ let his mother force her from the room.

"It's rather small, isn't it?" Kagome said, turning to Sesshomaru as he raised a brow in response. 

"Oh?" Kagome looked back at his mother to see her lips twitching. "Should this one send her son off to slay another for your large appetite?"

"Oh, Sesshomaru is very generous in seeing to my needs," Kagome said with a dismissive wave of her hand. "It's _his_ appetite I'm worried about. You see, he offered up the last of his travel food for me—he's a _wonderful_ provider—but I worry about him."

Sesshomaru snorted quietly next to her.

Kagome nudged him with her elbow in response.

"Hnn." His mother stared at Kagome as she stood to the table. 

"Of course," Kagome continued as his mother opened her mouth to say something else, "Sesshomaru is far too honorable to eat his fill if it means that I would be deprived. But this time, I really have to insist, Sesshomaru, that you eat properly. I'll follow up with the servants to ensure our meals are appropriate for a daiyokai of your caliber going forward."

 _And by doing that, I'll ensure the food is appropriate for me, too._ Kagome wanted to grin at her quick thinking. 

She thought about batting her eyes for good measure but thought better of it.

There was a quiet look of pride on Sesshomaru's face as his mother huffed, outmaneuvered once again.

"Well, there's no time like the present." Kagome clapped her hands together. "I'll take care of this at once, Sesshomaru. After all, you haven't seen your mother in awhile so I'll let you both catch up while I take care of this." 

And with that, she grinned at both Sesshomaru and his mother and left the dining room—but not before she caught the quiet look of respect on his mother's face.

Sesshomaru found her later, relaxing in the garden. She'd taken care of the meal situation, ensuring that human food would join the food prepared for Sesshomaru and his mother, but after that, she hadn't bothered to return to the dining hall.

Her mind was still too conflicted and she couldn't get the look of pride on Sesshomaru's face out of her head. 

Why had he sought her out for marriage in the first place? Was it really because of her own power?

"You did well, Kagome," he said as he approached her, repeating the same words he'd told her the day before and just like she had then, she heard the hint of pride in his voice.

She rose to face him, brushing off her priestess hakama. "Why do you want children, Sesshomaru? You never really seemed like you'd be interested before."

He stared at her for a moment, his expression contemplative. "Why do you seek children, Kagome?" he countered after a moment, neatly avoiding a direct answer.

She pressed her lips together, unamused. "I asked you first," she told him. Besides, she was fairly certain he'd overheard most, if not all, of her conversation with Sango the other day. She still felt a little emotionally bare after that, but there wasn't much she could do about.

But she would not open herself up to him more without the same in turn.

He was silent for so long that she'd almost given up on getting an answer out of him at all. "This one desires children," he said, pausing before he continued, "to share himself with. Without offspring, there is little reason to continue on the path this one has chosen. What purpose is there in titles and power if there is no one to share it with or pass it to?"

She heard the quiet pang in his voice and realized that Sesshomaru—though she doubted he'd ever _dare_ say it aloud, was lonely. From what he didn't specifically say, she inferred that he wanted to build his own family, sought affection, but didn't know how to go about doing so.

Was that why he'd sought her out? She'd acquired quite the reputation for bonding with others and building a network of friends in this era. Had he seen that trait in her and desired to make it his own?

Her heart softened and she offered him a small smile. "I want children to love and share my life with. I want to watch them grow up and have families of their own and know that I left something of myself behind when I go. I have so much love to give them, Sesshomaru. My children would never want for anything."

"This one believes that you would make an exceptional mother," he offered after another moment of silence passed between them.

She gave him a crooked smile. "I hope I will be," she said lightly. "If I'm half the mother my own mom was, I think my own kids would turn out alright."

He offered her a small smile of his own. "If you are half the woman this one's mother believes you to me, this one is confident that they will."

She gaped at him. "Your _mother_? But she doesn't like me!"

He shrugged one shoulder as he moved to run idly his claws through a section of his hair. "She was testing you," he admitted to her, confirming a suspicion that had been brewing in the back of Kagome's mind since they'd arrived at his home. "She has high standards for the mate of her son."

Kagome stared. "And... I passed?"

He nodded his head, once. "She is most hopeful for twins," he said casually.

"Twins," Kagome repeated faintly.

He gave her another short nod.

"Do...do twins run in your family?" They didn't run in hers, but suddenly the idea of _twins_ nearly brought her to her knees. She remembered how hard Sango and Miroku had had it with two twins and then they'd added another baby to the mix before their twins were even fully potty-trained.

"It has occurred before." He stepped closer to her, reaching out for her elbow to stay her when she would have drawn back. "You agreed to the marriage," he reminded her.

Kagome opened her mouth to protest that he'd manipulated her into it and then thought better of it. She had the feeling he was rather proud of that point so there was no reason to think that bringing it up would change his mind. "I did," she agreed faintly, resigning herself to the idea that this was going to be her future. She tried to picture what a family with Sesshomaru would be like.

To her surprise, the images that came to mind weren't unpleasant or awkward. She could see Sesshomaru's patience and the quiet way he'd shown affection from the way he'd interacted with Rin. He'd had the confidence and awareness to know that Kagome was capable of handling his mother without interference and had allowed her to do so.

She could picture him caring for their children, protecting them when needed, caring for them, but giving them the space to learn and grow. Sesshomaru, she realized, would be an amazing dad.

"We'd make a good pair," she added after a moment. "I think we balance each other well."

"Hnn." His hand fell away from her elbow as an odd look entered his eye.

"And," she continued bravely, "I think our kids would probably turn out okay." Kagome immediately lost herself in the mental picture of fluffy-eared babies snuggled up in her arms and suddenly her arms ached to hold them. "I want them," she whispered faintly.

A tinge of red entered his gaze and before she knew it, he'd reached out and pulled her to him and, as she blinked, they were suddenly in his room. "Then you shall have them," he promised her, his voice dropping to a low rumble that did things to her that no man's voice should ever do.

She trembled as he pulled her close, anticipating the kiss she knew was coming.

When his lips finally touched hers, Kagome decided that there was nothing else she wanted more than the quiet affection and support of the male holding her in his arms.


End file.
